A Weird State of Being

Music: Come On Get Higher- Matt Nathanson (yes, I just listed this as my song a couple posts ago, but because I just got a new phone and made this my ringtone, it's stuck in my head, and I love it!)
Mood: Stressed, Busy, but calmly relaxed

I really do apologize for being gone from this blog in the last few weeks. I have been swamped with work and really stressed in the past few days that when I haven't been working or preparing for interviews, I've been sleeping.

So where did I leave off? This past Friday, I had a 2nd round interview with a middle-market lending firm based out of New York, so I drove to Houston on Thursday evening and stayed in a hotel downtown. The internship is in Houston in the Energy group, and I really hope to get this internship. From talking with the people in the office and the outline of the job description, it seems like a great opportunity to apply what I've learned specifically in finance with valuations and financial analysis so I really hope to intern with this company. I also hope they tell me soon so I can have some idea of what I'm doing this summer and I can then stop looking at other firms in Austin. It's a only a moment of time, but I am confident that I'll get something for the summer. I just hope it's with this company in Houston. The interviews went really well, and I was truly able to connect with the people I talked to on a personal level. I think they were impressed with my resume and knew that I have a good head on my shoulders, and from there, I think they're looking for fit. Personally, I felt there was a match there and the work seems great. I just hope they felt the same way.

So apart from interviewing for the company in Houston, I've been swamped with projects and assignments. This weekend, I was extremely productive, but I didn't get to enjoy being home as much as I wanted to. I got to meet up with a HS friend who goes to Rice, which was really nice! I really enjoyed our conversation and catching up with her. Besides that and seeing my parents and indulging in chinese food, I worked on the FAP presentation about Google, worked on a presentation for my Plan II TC class about microfinancing, wrote up a marketing discussion, and also worked on a finance individual project that took way too much time, in my opinion. Haha. Funny thing my mom brought up. Everytime I come home, I overeat chinese food and chinese bakery items. She mentioned that because I love chinese food and Houston probably has one of the best chinatowns in the nation, I'll probably end up close to home. Which, thinking about this, if I moved to say, Dallas or Austin, I don't know how i'd survive without good chinatown food! YIKES. Looks like i'm limited to NYC, SF, or Houston.. but I guess seattle has a small chinatown and chicago does as well. We'll see, but the point of all that rambling was because I LOVE CHINESE FOOD. =)

So getting back on topic, in addition to giving 2 presentations today, I had a recruiting dinner with a consulting firm to discuss full-time opportunities with the firm. I thought it was ironic that this was my first full-time recruiting dinner, and I still haven't finalized my internship offer for the summer yet. However, it was weird looking into the future and trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the next 3-5 years. But, I really enjoyed learning about the firm and hope I'll be able to recruit with them in the Fall.

Later today, after that dinner, I worked on a stock pitch I have to give to my MBA in FAP to discuss with him the benefits of UPS. Then, I have a short quiz in Ballroom dancing tomorrow evening and then I need to prepare for a quiz in finance on Wednesday. This week is somewhat tame, but there is always work to be done! I have to work on a marketing plan which is due on Fri, May 8th. I also have a TC paper on microfinancing due Fri, May 8th. Before then, I have a Marketing Exam on Monday, and an FAP and a FIN test on Wednesday. Then, I have one final exam in P2 Physics (which I hope I don't have to take if i did well on this past test, but that's highly unlikely), so my first and last final is on May 13th. From there, I really hope I'll know what I'm doing this summer. I honestly don't have any back up plans if the one in Houston doesn't work out. I'm entertaining things in Austin, but like I said, Houston is where I want to be this summer.

OK, well. it's 1am and I really ought to go to bed. I have to meet my MBA at 9:45am in business casual. Sorry for being extremely stream of conscious in this post. I just wanted to give y'all an update without having to do too much thinking.

Plan II Physics Test

Music: buzz of the laptop

Mood: strange

I guess all the stress has had a physical impact on me. I haven't really noticed anything different, but several people have told me that when they just see me, it seems like something is wrong. Honestly, there's nothing really wrong with me, but I appreciate everyone who has asked or reached out to me. I just hope that this isn't noticable when I do interview with the company in Houston on Friday. That's right, I'm driving down to Houston on Thursday night to interview with a banking company that does loans for mid-sized clients on Friday. The work for this position seems very interesting, and I really think I'm going to benefit if I do get the internship. Needless to say, I really want this internship. I'm going to come off as enthusiastic as possible and express my sincere desire to work with them. They're interviewing 4 students from A&M and one other student from UT. Not bashing A&M students, but I'm hoping I can blow them out of the water.

Oh also, big shout out to Yolanda H. She told me that she reads my blog, and that totally made me happy to know that someone reads this. Haha.

Anyways, quick blog. I have so much going on, I'll try to update this weekend when I'm home, but I don't even know if I'll have enough time for that. YIKES.

Hectic Few Weeks

Music: At The Beginning- Donna Lewis (from Anastasia)
Mood: tired, stressed, but surprisingly relaxed

I haven't updated in about a week. This past week has been one of the most challenging, not just with school work , but emotionally as well. I won't go too in depth because I know this isn't the most appropriate place to talk about how I'm feeling, but just know that I really means a lot if you've reached out to me to actually ask how I'm doing and talk about what I'm going through.

Words can't really express how this semester has been. I think I can just say that this semester has been starkly different than my previous semester abroad. The one song that has really gotten me through this week is that Anastasia song, especially the chorus:

And life is a road and I wanna to keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

With that, I think I'll leave y'all with the youtube link and go to bed. Hopefully I'll have better stuff to report on in the next few weeks before schools out.

Relaxing Weekend

Music: Come On Get Higher- Matt Nathanson
Mood: sleeping in
Reading: One Up On Wallstreet- Peter Lynch

What a relaxing weekend it has certainly been! After such a stressful week filled with projects, homework, and obligations, it's been nice to retreat back home and just chill. I haven't been able to sleep in since spring break, but this weekend, I've slept in Friday and Saturday morning and took naps on both Thursday afternoon and Friday afternoon. It's been glorious! =)

So Wednesday was a whirlwind of a day; going to physics TA sessions, BC meeting, and then having to prepare for interviews. I woke up at 5:20am on Thursday, got ready and ate breakfast and then caught the bus to the airport at 6:10am. My mom, who's in London right now, knew I would be up, so she called me and we chatted on the bus, which was nice. I landed in Houston at about 8:10 and then the company I was interviewing with had a UT alumni pick me up from Hobby Airport. After a brief introduction about the company, they sent all of us on an interview craze. There were 6 people interviewing for 2 spots (2 from Rice, me, and then one student from Univ of Houston, Sam Houston State, and Emory). They had us go through 6 15 minute interviews and then that was the all. We were done by 11:30am and my dad then picked me up from the Galleria. I think all the interviews went well, and hopefully I'm given an offer to be in Houston this summer. They said it'd take up to 2 weeks for them to get back to me... and that's a long time to wait, but I'm going to be optimistic and hope for the best. In the meantime, I have 1 more interview on Wednesday of this week and one more 2 weeks from now. I've lost count of the number of companies I've interviewed with, and I probably won't count until I get an offer.

On Thursday, after napping, I did my Plan II Physics homework, scanned it in and emailed it to the TA for grading. It was nice of them to let me turn it in late. Today and yesterday, my dad and I conquered Chinatown in Houston, eating at a bunch of restaurant and giving me my fix of chinese food to last me until the next time I come back to Houston.

There's not much more homework I have to do for this weekend. Sunday, I'll be back in Austin by 4pm. I want to bake banana nut bread and just relax some more. Gosh, I don't even want to start thinking about the projects I have to do and the many tests that are coming up. haha.

Oh and lastly, as many of you know-- I'm a Jesse McCartney fan.. hah (wow. I can't believe I just admitted that, but hey, no shame!) I discovered this acoustic version he did for a radio station, and I LOVE it! Check it out. It's actually very pretty!

Wednesday Madness

Music: Boom Boom Pow- Black Eyed Peas
Mood: busy busy busy

"I'm so 3008, you so 2000 and late." For some reason, despite how little sense that sentence makes, I still find this new Black Eye Peas song really amusing. Anywho, today is wednesday, which mean's I'm one day away from the weekend.

I've had a pretty busy week but it hasn't been too bad, schoolwise. Yesterday, I left physics early to get ready and drive to North Austin to interview for a mid-level M&A firm at 4pm. I left at 3:30 because Google told me it would take about 12 minutes (or 25 minutes in traffic) to get there. It turns out, Google Maps took me to the area North of the Aboretum when the company's offices were south of the Aboretum (and south of 360 for that matter). I literally had to call the office 3 times to figure out where I was and how to get to the offices. I was almost ready to give up but finally got there at 4:30 and had a successful interview. Realistically, this firm seems interesting, but I'm really hoping to intern with the insurance brokerage firm in Houston that I'm interviewing with on Thursday. Anyways, after the interview, I drove back to my apartment, changed, grabed a quick snack, and ran to wait in line to go see Bill Nye speak. He was great to listen to and it definately allowed me to relax a bit. He spoke on climate change and how we as consumers and future leaders have the power to "change the world."

Today has gone pretty smoothly. Last night, I finished Peony In Love, which was a nice, lovely read but a bit too romantic and idealistic about love for my taste. Now I'm starting One Up on Wall Street by Peter Lynch for my finance 367 class, which I'm interested in reading. I got up at 7 for my 8am class and had class until 12:15; then for lunch, we had a merger arbitrager come speak in our finance class and I was able to have lunch with him and a few other students at the Carillon, the resturant in the new ATT center. That was enjoyable, but I think speaking with him reaffirmed my opinion that often times, the jobs in finance don't really create any value in society (unless you can argue that they help make the markets efficient... but seriously...). So I'm still in my quarter-life crisis of 'what do i want to do.' Anyways, after lunch, I met with my marketing professor to get a new assignment for the weekend. After this last bit of data collection, we're finally going to move into the data analysis part, which should be interesting and I'm excited about getting hands-on exposure to that. Now, I'm in the Frito Lay just hanging out before my photoshoot with the UT admissions graphic designer at 3. Then at 4, I have office hours for my Physicis class and from then to 7 and throughout BC meeting, I'll be working on my physics homework. I need to go to bed early tonight because I need to be up my 5:30 to catch the 6am bus to the airport to make my 7:20 flight to Houston, putting me in Houston by 8:00 and in the offices for my interview by 9am. It'll be a LONG day. Haha. Maybe I should have just woken up at 6am and driven to the office instead of bother flying. Oh well, flying is a lot easier and less stressful.

Wish me luck on my interview tomorrow. I think I'll rock it, but I need to run through some behavioural interview questions to make sure I say the right things. I've gone through so many interviews that I think I might be saying some things that aren't really kosher. Yikes! So I'll update on Thursday to let everyone know how things went. Once I finalize an offer, I'm going to get red highlights again, so I'm excited! =) Oh, and maybe splurge on some top quality running and spinning shoes.

Busy Week Ahead

Music: If U Seek Amy- Britney Spears
Mood: lazy Sunday

This past week has been long, like all the other ones, and I apologize in advanced if this is too emotional or personal or whatever for those reading. (which by the way, who the heck reads this now? I recently checked my sitemeter, and I'm getting hits from Austin, New York, San Antonio, which is weird because this is supposed to be a school blog, but whatever. Leave me happy comments if you do read this though) Anyways, I've done some reflecting, and I realize how silly I've been this semester. As many of you know, this semester has been a rollercoaster for me. Mainly because I've been interviewing since the first week of school, and it's now mid-April and I STILL don't have an internship. (I'll touch on recruiting things in a bit). However, since coming back from studying abroad, I feel I've been in a rush to graduate and get things over with. I've expressed my desire to finish school and "begin" my life. I think, in hindsight, I've been extremely naive and immature about this whole semester. Being abroad, I was living such a glamorous lifestyle-- travel, study, explore Hong Kong. It was almost as if I were invincible, and coming back to Austin really grounded my life-high. In a sick drug metaphor, coming back to Austin was as if I went cold-turkey on my addiction and really threw me off balance.

It wasn't till I watched this past Monday's How I Met Your Mother that things really became clearer for me. Ted was complaining about how much he was struggling pursuing his career in architecture and how he was ready just to be successful and happy. Robin, like a fortune cookie, profoundly said, "Ted, it's not just about the ends in life but the journey that makes life fun." I didn't write about that in my last post because I was too caught up with things, but I've had some time to think about that, and I'm now not sure where I stand on things. I've complained so much saying I'm ready for graduation and ready to begin my life and get out of college. That's kind of surprising because college is supposed to be the best 4 years of your life, and if I'm not enjoying myself, then what am I going to be doing when I work full-time? I remember this past summer and the previous summer that while interning, the first 2 months were nice, but then the 3rd month started to drag and I was ready to move on. I don't think I realize that I'm totally not ready for graduation and to move on with my life. I don't really know what I want from life. Some call this a quarter-life crisis, but for me, it's a period where I'm not sure what I want to do or a period where the future doesn't look so certain.

I'm worried (and rightfully so) about my summer and about my post-graduation plans. But I think I need to take time and just enjoy the journey as well. I hope that next year, I can look back and say that I might not have had a enjoyable semester, but that I've grown a lot out of it. I think, if and when I do survive this semester, I be thankful it's over but be more thankful of the things I do have. I hope this is making some sort of sense. Maybe this is a growing pain for me. Maybe it's just karma. I don't know what it is, but I know I'll survive. This semester has been emotionally and physically draining. It's not even that my classes are at all hard (except Plan II Physics), but rather, it's the combination of not being able to find an internship, the frustration of Plan II Physics (and it's idiocracy), the pressure to figure out my full-time aspirations, and the pressure to determine my Plan II thesis topic that has made this semester absolutely horrible.

So in short, what I'm trying to convey is that I'm trying my best to enjoy myself and college, but it's hard to when there's so much that is going wrong right now. But I'll be optimistic and look forward to the future and the good things to come.

So why is this coming week going to be busy? Monday will be typical, busy from 8 to 6pm). Tuesday, I need to take a BHP prospective student around campus, go to physics class, then get dressed and drive up to North Austin for an interview with a Merger and Aquisition firm, come back, and get in line for Bill Nye (and somewhere fit in the Gym). Wednesday will be another whirlwind day. Class from 8-12:30, gym, shower, then off to a photoshoot with UT admissions (I was contacted by UT admissions to be profiled in their bealonghorn website, so they need photos for the website and potentially for next year's viewbook). ThenI have the PHY TA session and then BC meeting and then try to get as much phy hwk done. On Thursday, I have to catch a 7am flight to Houston for my 2nd round interview with an insuracne rebrokerage firm. I'm really excited about this opportunity and this company sounds really amazing, so I hope I'm able to convert this 2nd round into a full-time offer! Then I'm staying in Houston for the weekend and flying back to Houston on Sunday. The rest of the week looks tame, but M-TH will be CRAZY!

Wish me luck, and with that, I need to get back to homework and other things.

Oh one last thing-- what also prompted my emotional crisis was my consideration to run for executive board of Business Council. There is noone right now who is running for Careers Director. I think I'd do a great job and I really LOVE the programs that careers puts on. However, I don't think I'm up for the number of hours that being on BC exec requires. I think it would been an amazing experience, but I don't think I can committ to it. I'm looking at the classes I'm taking my senior year and it'll be challenging, espeically since I now want to get my acct minor on top of an already stacked senior year. So, I am probably NOT running for Careers Director.

Monday Blues

Music: Butterfly- Jason Mraz
Mood: already waiting for the weekend

Wow. This weekend was pretty fun. It was nice and relaxing, but much needed. I feel like the only thing that gets me through the week is looking forward to the weekend. Every monday begins with a count-down to Thursday afternoon. It's pitiful and a sort of depressing way to look at my spring, junior year, but it's the truth. I'm ready either for senior year and graduation. (Maybe because this semester has been so long and drawn out because of recruiting and plan II physics).

But a quick recap of the weekend: Friday- I didn't do much. Acutally, I can't remember what I did. I thought I was sort of productive but can't remmeber what I did. Oh, ok, sorry, yes, I remember now (proof that this is a stream of concious blog). I had a couple interviews and did my finance group project. I also went for a nice 3mile jog around campus after all the group work. Saturday, I woke up early to volunteer/work at Discover BHP (which is the chance where we get to meet the admitted students and tell them all about BHP). After Discover BHP, my friend Tracey and I went to the Keep Austin Spicy Asian Food Festival. Entrance was $5 and the food costed money too. But then, we walked through the volunteer section and were stopped and told to go around. We asked if they needed volunteer and we signed up to volunteer! We ended up getting some free food, enjoyed the amazing weather, and then picked up trash for the last 10 minutes before heading out. It was a pretty cool afternoon. Saturday night, I lounged for a bit, met some friends downtown, and then called it a night. Sunday, I did 3 loads of landry, did some errands, and read applications for the Barbra Jordan and George Mitchell Award to make decisions for interviews.

This week doesn't look too busy. I've got some quizzes and group projects next week, but we'll see how much work I can get done this week so I can relax on the weekend. This is pretty gutsy, but I'm really wanting to go to the Astros Opening Day next Monday, but we'll see.

Me and Tracey volunteering

EDIT:
-Wow. That was a close call. My car was in the process of getting towed and I stopped the guy. Every Monday, I love to watch How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) with my friends, so I drove over to their apartment and parked in another apartment's visitor parking. Apparently, you need visitors pass to park in that visitor parking, (the free visitor parking is in the next apartment over). Good thing the show ended at 8:00 and I walked out with my friend to catch and stop the tow truck. It was frightening but good to know that my life does not entirely stink right now! =)
- Also, I want to go to Bill Nye's talk next Tuesday, so I'm going to get up early tomorrow to go get tickets.. then I think I'm going to have to wait in line next tuesday to get seated. It's going to suck, but hopefully worth it.
- and on a random note: HEB has mango on sale, and it's reaffirmed my love for mango. I think if I open an resturant, it'll be called Mango. (please don't steal my idea!)
-and lastly, i don't know why this is in all italics, but blogger won't let me change it so oh well. Hehe.